Solace
by Alexis1
Summary: One day changed four people's lives. Another changed two. And now, things will never be the same again.


Solace  
  
Disclaimer: Puhlease! If I owned them would I be writing fanfic.   
  
Summary: One day changed their lives. Now another one will change it back again. Flashes set in 3rd season.   
  
Feedback: Yes please!  
  
Rating:  
  
  
They both remembered the day it all happened clearly. It was one of those blistering hot days that frequented Roswell.  
They didn't know that everything would change after it.  
  
MICHAEL AND MARIA  
  
Michael lay on his side, spooning Maria, his arms wrapped around her waist.  
This was his favourite time of day. Just lying with her, as the sun crept over the windowsill of his apartment.   
Ever since her mom had found out that he gave up his real parents who had come to take him back with them to Ontario, so he could stay in Roswell she had become more relaxed. She knew that he would never leave her and now trusted him with her baby girl. (Maria had figured telling her about the alien stuff may very well push her over the edge.)  
It was bliss.  
She stirred in her sleep and turned over to face him.  
He kissed her softly and she opened her eyes.  
"Morning."  
"Morning."  
She sighed heavily and snuggled into his chest.  
"Love you."  
He smiled. He couldn't get enough of her saying that. Every time the words passed her lips it gave him that warm feeling inside.  
"Love you too."  
Saying it back felt just as good.  
She turned to look at him, just staring at him.  
"What?"  
"I just want to remember you like this."  
He smiled again. If only she knew he'd done the same every morning he had woken up next to her.   
  
END MICHAEL AND MARIA  
  
They had spent the whole day just enjoying each other's company. They had watched The Virgin Suicides and Maria had cried, they'd eaten ice cream and kissed some more.   
It had been perfect.  
  
MAX AND LIZ  
  
"Max!" Liz giggled, as a blob of whipped cream landed on her nose.  
Herself and her boyfriend were eating pancakes in the Crashdown. Liz was on the morning shift so Max had come to keep her company.   
The café was empty so they were sitting by the counter, feeding each other the gooey mass on Max's plate.   
"Sorry." He grinned and bent over, licking the cream of her nose.   
"So are we still on for tonight?"  
Michael, Maria, Max and Liz had planned to go bowling that night.  
"Yep. Meet at my house at 7, OK?"  
Liz nodded.  
The bells above the door rang, signalling a family of four's entrance.   
"See you later."  
Quickly she laid a kiss on his waiting lips and bounced off to deal with them.  
  
END MAX AND LIZ  
  
It was hard to believe that that was the last memory she had of him.  
  
FLASH  
  
Michael rapped on the Evans' door twice and waited for someone to answer.  
"Hey Michael."  
Liz opened the door and he stepped through.  
"They've planned something. Max and Maria left this video here for us to watch."  
She put it in the machine and Michael sat on the edge of the sofa.  
"I bet it was Maria's idea."  
Liz pressed play.  
Maria and Max appeared on screen, sitting on Max's bed.   
"Hey. You're probably wondering why we're not here." Max started. "There's no easy way to say this. Maria and I have left Roswell."  
Michael and Liz looked at each other and then back at the screen.  
"Its not what you think. I've been getting visions again. And…they're not pretty. All war and destruction, all of you getting butchered. So I went to Max and asked him to help. I would have come to you but I didn't want to worry you."  
"Maria's been acting as a beacon to Kivar. Tess, must have done something to open a connection between Kivar and Maria. When I tried to heal her, I was thrown out. So we're leaving."  
"I'm sorry Michael but I can't take the risk he'll find you. I didn't want Max to come but -"  
"But I won't let he leave on her own. It's my responsibility to keep all of you safe. Michael, I trust you to take care of Liz. I know you will. I promise I'll look after Maria. Tell Isabel I love her. Liz, god Liz, I love you so much. I'm sorry I have to do this but it's the only way. I promise I'll find a way to come back to you. I'll fix Maria then we'll come home."  
"Liz, you know what to do. Take care chica. And Michael…." Maria paused, tears running down her cheeks. "I love you. Take care of Liz and tell my mom not to worry about me. I wish I didn't have to do this, I wish I could stay here with you forever but…I can't take the risk. Don't ever forget I love you."   
"Goodbye." Max whispered. He left shot, obviously turning the camera off.  
Just before the screen went blank Maria mouthed one word. "Bye."  
  
"This is gotta be a joke. Max! Maria! You can come out now! Its not funny anymore!" Michael yelled, looking in the kitchen and the downstairs bathroom.  
"Michael…" Liz choked out standing up. "They're gone. They're really gone."  
Instantly Michael was by her side and she leaned into him, sobbing her heart out.  
"Oh god…oh god…" she kept muttering to herself.  
"It'll be alright. We'll find them."  
He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her back and forth slowly, never letting her see his own tears.   
  
END FLASH  
  
It had been soul destroying. The two people they loved most in the world…gone. Disappeared. The Sheriff called in every favour owed to him but to no avail. Max Evans and Maria DeLuca had simply vanished.   
Isabel had been devastated and Kyle walked around in a daze.  
They'd all decided to tell people that Max and Maria had ran off together because they were in love.  
At school, at the Crashdown, even in the street, Michael and Liz had to endure the pitying glances and the nasty whispers that followed them.  
"Did you hear that they'd been doing the nasty for a year?"  
"Well, my sister's friend's boyfriend heard them saying that Liz and Michael were rubbish in bed."  
"I saw them in the Eraser room once. They said they were just cleaning erasers but I knew something was wrong!"  
And then one day they just quit. They a left a note for Isabel, Kyle and the Sheriff, telling them that they'd gone to find Maria and Max.   
The whispers intensified in Roswell, just now it was Isabel and Kyle who heard them.  
"Apparently they'd been cheating on the other two as well!"  
"Yeah, Liz told Mindy that she wanted a bit of rough."  
"Man, Michael told Kyle and I overheard that Liz was a great lay."  
This time though, the gossips ended up with bruises and blue hair.   
  
FLASH  
  
"They've been here."  
Liz looked up hopefully.   
They were searching a motel room. Liz was on her knees, looking under the bed for any clues and Michael was in the bathroom.  
She scurried towards him.   
"Where?"  
He touched the mirror.  
"She brushed her hair right here….then she started to cry."  
"Was Max still with her?"  
Michael looked at the petite girl next to him. Her eyes were bright with hope. It was always the same.  
"Yes But they left at least two weeks ago. The flash…it was old."  
And like the other times her face fell and she tried to pretend that she wasn't crushed.   
"Well, we're getting closer aren't we?"  
The look on her face implored him to agree.  
"Yeah. We are."  
  
END FLASH  
  
Toronto, Florida, Texas, Washington, New York, California, Quebec, Boston….they travelled in an old beat up Ford Michael kept in good repair with his powers.   
They'd sleep in a motel or in the car, go get some breakfast, then drive all day, stopping at places Maria and Max might have been. Shops, cafes, motels. Anywhere they could think of. In New Orleans they even visited an aromatherapy and natural remedy store. They'd eat again then sleep.   
Life became one long chase.   
They phoned home every so often, updating the others on their progress but hung up whenever they'd pleaded for them to come home. They couldn't. Not until they found a resolution.   
They'd been travelling for just over a year. Max and Maria had been gone for a year and a half.   
In a small, dingy motel, on the outskirts of New York City was where everything changed again.  
  
FLASH  
  
The bed was uncomfortable. Hell, every motel bed he had slept in on this wild goose chase had been uncomfortable. Today they'd been relatively lucky. The room was dark and dirty but there were two beds and no cockroaches.   
Always a plus, he thought.  
He looked over to the other bed and was surprised to find it empty. He knew she hadn't gone very far because her sneakers were placed by the side of her bed and her bag was leaning against the doorframe.  
"Liz?"  
No answer.  
"Liz?"  
A choked sob reached his ears and he followed it to the bathroom.  
The door was looked but it was no problem for him. It clicked open and he stepped inside.  
She was sitting on the toilet seat her head buried in her hands. Her hair was mussed and the bottom of her sleep shirt (an old t-shirt of Max's) was soaked. She'd obviously been using it to blot the tears that cascaded down her cheeks.  
"Oh Liz…"  
In a routine that was by now automatic, he pulled her too him and let her clutch onto him for dear life.   
"We're never going to find them are we?"  
For the first time since this charade had started he didn't soothe her that they would. He couldn't bring himself too.   
All these months of pursuing a dream that would probably never be fulfilled, all the days spent trawling for the merest hint of them, all the nights spent dreaming of better days and a future they would never have. All the hours comforting Liz and being the strong one had taken their toll.  
"We've been chasing them everywhere and what do we have to show for it? Nothing!"  
She was shaking violently; from anger or upset he couldn't decipher.  
He kept silent, just rocking her back and forth, like the first time, like every time since then.   
He knew if he opened his mouth then all of his fears, feelings, thoughts would come spilling out, a torrent of hurt that he would not be able to stop.   
"I'm just so confused. I can't even remember what it was like to be with Max."  
She looked up at him then, eyes still glassy and a few errant tears still winding down her face.   
It was then she noticed that his face reflected all hers did.  
Pain of loss. Anger. Loneliness.  
Impulsively she leaned up and pressed her lips against his firmly. At first there was no response. But then, hesitantly he kissed back.   
Her hands gripped the side of his head, holding him to her, lest he leave her too.  
He let his hands roam her back, reassuring himself that she wasn't going anywhere, much like she was.   
She dragged them up and they half stumbled, half fell into Michael's bed.  
The clock on the bedside cabinet read 11:59pm but as the numbers changed, bringing in the new day, a new future was carved out for two lonely people.  
  
END FLASH  
  
Both of them knew what they were doing was wrong. But it was so hard to keep strong in a situation where hopes were dashed into little pieces every day. The little comfort they found in one another kept them comparatively sane.   
  
FLASH  
  
"It wasn't her."  
Liz looked up from the newspaper she was reading and ran a hand through her hair.  
The hotel room in New Jersey was slightly better than most.  
She beckoned to Michael and he came, kneeling next to her, resting his head on her knee.  
Slowly she began to run her fingers through it.  
He closed his eyes and remembered the other woman who had done this to him. The other woman he had let his guard down with.   
It was too much. He pulled Liz down to the floor with him, desperate to block out the thoughts that were tormenting him.  
  
END FLASH  
  
Later, they would both say that the first encounter in the hotel room in New York would mark the moment they gave up.  
Their searching became less intense and a year later it stopped completely.   
They returned to Roswell briefly, stayed with Isabel for a few days, without telling her the developments in their lives.  
They told her they were quitting the search. Almost three years and nothing.   
It was over.  
They visited the last places they'd seen their respective others.   
Then they went to the spot where the Granolith used to be housed, looking at the last landmark on their whistlestop return.  
Liz remembered walking away from Max, her heart breaking but knowing she was doing it for the greater good. She remembered the reunion after Tess had departed.  
Michael remembered the time he had brought Maria there and let her know with one simple action that she mattered, that he still loved her. He remembered the feel of her in his arms when he chose her over a home planet.   
As the last traces of the sun vanished and the V-shaped constellation he had been convinced was his salvation came into view, they confirmed they allegiance to each other.  
Not love. Desperate need.   
  
FLASH  
  
"I'm so tired."   
Liz walked through the door of their tiny one room apartment.   
Since Roswell held such bittersweet memories, they'd gone to the library picked out a map of North America, Liz had swung her finger around with her eyes closed and stabbed it at the map. So they'd ended up in Concord, Massachusetts. Liz worked in a diner and Michael in a warehouse for books.  
All dreams and ambitions had got up and disappeared to wherever THEY had.  
The names Max and Maria were not mentioned by unspoken agreement.  
Liz, shrugged off her coat, and walked over to the couch where Michael was sprawled out.  
He lifted his legs so she could sit down and offered his hand as a gesture of comfort. She took it and leaned her head back against the edge of the sofa.  
They sat in companionable silence for a while, letting the fuzzy noise of the television in the corner act as a backdrop to their thoughts.   
"Lets go to bed."  
They pulled out the sofa, converting it into a sofa bed. Two sheets were spread over the slightly worse for wear bed, simply because Liz preferred it like that. They changed into their night-clothes, any of their former insecurities about themselves banished after spending nearly 3 and a half years of living in each other's pockets.  
Max's shirt had long since been disbanded for one of Michael's Metallica ones. She felt disloyal, wearing Max's shirt while sleeping with his best friend.   
They climbed under the covers and faced each other.  
"Michael?"  
That one word, the way she said it, the look she was giving him told him what she needed.  
Clothes were discarded and the bedsprings squeaked under yet another pounding from their masters.   
  
END FLASH  
  
They fell asleep sweaty and tired and hoping for a long lie in the next morning. Both had the day off and planned to sleep, eat and watch television.   
Journal writing, drawing and humming in the shower didn't happen anymore. Seemed any creativity they possessed had taken the same one way trip as their ambition.  
So when at 9:30am Liz was roused from her slumber she was not a happy bunny.  
  
FLASH  
  
"Alright already! Some people are trying to get some sleep!" she muttered.   
Even after all this time it amazed her how deeply Michael slept.   
Wrapping one of their sheets around her she left him, mouth slightly agape.  
Quickly she checked herself in the mirror. The lipstick she had been wearing the previous day had smudged from the kissing the night before and her hair looked as if she'd been rolling around in bed all night- which she had but-  
Another louder, more insistent knock stopped her reverie and she flung open the door.   
"Look, I don't care what you're hawking we're not interes- "  
The words died on her lips as she saw who was standing on her doorstep.  
"You."  
Max stood before her a small smile on his face.  
"Liz!"  
Maria rushed through the door at the sound of Michael's voice. Liz hadn't even noticed her standing behind Max.  
"Come back to bed…"   
When he saw the blonde hurricane come to a screeching halt at the foot of the bed his jaw literally dropped.  
"Max..?" Maria's voice came out confused, clearly asking for clarification as to what she was seeing.  
He pushed past Liz, who trailed behind him.   
Both of them stood looking at the now standing and also sheet wrapped Michael and dead white Liz.  
"What….what's going on?"  
Silence prevailed.  
"I think you can guess."  
Liz stood up straight and looked Max dead in the eye.  
Michael, seeing Liz's defiance felt the need to back her up.  
He stepped up behind her and placed his hand on her waist.  
The look of pain that flickered across Maria's face did not go unnoticed by him.  
"So all this time, while we've been running for our lives, trying to keep you safe, you two have been screwing each other?" Max challenged.  
"No Max. We stayed in Roswell for six months listening to all the gossip. Do you know that apparently Liz and I were so insecure we drove you two to running away? Or that Maria secretly has a fetish for men who love science? We searched for you for 2 and a half years. We trawled all around this freaking country hoping to get one glimpse of you. All we got was one flash! One damn flash! Would it have killed you to call or write, or fucking dreamwalk, to let us know that you were OK?"  
"You left us. You didn't even tell us to our face. We had to get it from videotape! And now, you come in here and expect us to be the same as before? Get real, the world doesn't work that way."  
Liz pulled away from Michael and fished in the empty fruit bowl for her cigarettes. She fumbled with the lighter, almost setting the sheet alight.   
She took a long drag and it calmed her jangled nerves.  
"Since when do you smoke?" Maria asked. Her brain was starting to kick in past the fact that the love of her life and her supposed best friend were sleeping together.  
"Around the time I was left heart broken and best friend less."  
Maria turned to Michael.  
"How could you? You stayed on Earth for me, then as soon as I go you go off with Liz…"  
Michael shook his head.  
"You have no idea the hell we went through do you? I loved you so much that every time I woke up to every time I went to bed I thought about you. And then when I slept I dreamed about you. I was so desperate to find you, to hold you, to wake up with you, to tell you I loved you that it physically hurt!"  
During his tirade he'd moved progressively closer to her.  
"Loved?"  
He stayed silent, unable to tell her what he was feeling at this precise moment. At his long pause she started to rant."  
"I felt the same! I went through every day, missing you, scared of Kivar, wanting to go back home. I thought it would be better to help you forget me. I just didn't think you'd forget me with her assistance."  
"Leave her alone!"   
Liz put a restraining hand on his arm.  
"Why? She's taken you away from me!"  
"No Maria. You took yourself away from me when you left Roswell without even saying goodbye."  
He turned away from her and stood with his back to her.  
"I asked you to take care of her…and you slept with her."  
Max was standing next to Maria, glaring daggers at Michael's back.  
"Max, shut the fuck up!"  
"No! And you…" he sneered at Liz.  
Without warning Michael spun around and punched him squarely on the jaw.   
Max reeled back.  
"Don't even start."  
The battlelines were drawn.   
"I think I'm going to be sick…" Maria rushed out of the door closely followed by Max.   
Liz's cigarette has long since been stubbed out and she sank to the floor crying.   
Michael followed her, unable to believe the events that transpired in the previous few minutes.   
"Michael…."  
She looked up.  
"We'll be OK. Right?"  
He smiled slightly and kissed her forehead.   
"Right." 


End file.
